


Like Two Perfect Circles Entwined

by Zoi no miko (zoi_no_miko)



Series: Soul Marks AU [2]
Category: Mirrors (2008)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Magical Tattoos, Soul Bond, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 19:47:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5510729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoi_no_miko/pseuds/Zoi%20no%20miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Larry gets a new partner - and with him, a hell of a lot of complications.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first time he'd met Ben Carson, Larry was up to his armpits in paperwork. But then again, that wasn't unusual.

"Larry." The director of CSU had poked his head out of his office the week before and gestured him up from the bull pen. Larry had barely managed not to knock over one of the stacks of manilla envelopes on his desk.

"Yeah, boss?"

Frank Bumstead quirked a smile. "New guy starts Monday. He'll be your partner. If you two can actually get caught up on that mess I'll start letting you take lead on actual cases."

"Thank god." It wasn't that Larry minded the paperwork. He was the new man on the team, after all. But their lead investigator, Frank's soulbonded mate, had temporarily taken over management of the Forensics lab, and it had taken Larry a couple weeks to find his groove in Leon's organized absence. Help would be very much appreciated. "How green is he?"

"Has about a year experience in Crime Scene under his belt, longer as a beat cop. Transferring in from Philly." He lowered his voice conspiratorially. "Recruiter says he plays a mean defense. Was second string for their team."

"Yeah? Thank god. The number of times Fire has handed our asses to us is embarrassing." Larry grinned. "Don't worry, boss. I'll show him the ropes."

He managed to get the piles of work in enough order to clear off half of his new partner's empty desk, though it made a few of the piles rather precariously high. Then he didn't give another thought to the new arrival, until he was halfway through sorting a stack of newly printed crime scene photos into briefing packages on Monday morning.

"... Officer Byrne?"

Larry looked up to find himself staring at what was unquestionably the most fuckable man he'd ever seen. He had short, slightly tousled blonde hair, clear blue eyes, a hint of a tan, and a mouth with the most unusually shaped cupids bow that was just begging to be kissed. He wasn't particularly tall - though at 6'1" Larry was used to being taller than most everyone - but he had lovely broad shoulders, and even with his uniform Larry could tell that he had an amazing physique. A brief thought of being slammed up against the wall and kissed breathless by this gorgeous man flicked briefly across his mind.

Then he realized that he was staring. "Ah - sorry, yeah. It's Larry. Pleased to - " he quickly got to his feet as he stammered the reply, inadvertently upsetting the tower of photos. "Fuck - !"

"Oh shit - here, let me help - " The man dropped to his knees to him immediately, helping gather up the spill of photos. Then he offered his hand. "Sorry to startle you. I'm Ben."

"Oh no, it's fine, I - " Larry took the offered hand, and somehow the warmth of the other man's skin against his own left him at a complete loss for words. He watched the other man's smile falter for a second, then return, somehow softer and easier than it had been before.

"I wasn't sure about moving back to New York," Ben said softly. "My fiancee got offered a position at the Belvedere, we thought about just getting a place somewhere off the New Jersey turnpike and commuting, but...." his smile widened, and Larry thought he felt Ben's hand tighten slightly on his. "I think it's going to be good here. I have a good feeling about you." 

~~~

Ben was, Larry quickly discovered, the ideal partner. Thoughtful and attentive in his work, with none of the cocksure bravado he'd come to expect from most cops. Ben rolled up his sleeves and dug into the paperwork with him, and within a couple weeks Frank made good on his promise to start giving them cases of their own.

Everything was ideal, Larry thought, except for that fact that he was still having wet dreams about the man every night, and regardless of who he took home to share his bed he couldn't help thinking of Ben. His beautiful, completely unavailable, obviously straight partner. The whole thing was kind of embarrassing. But it certainly wasn't Ben's fault that Larry's libido had reverted back to an that of an awkward and overly slutty seventeen year old, so Larry did his best to firmly lock away his desire whenever they were together.

"Rangers play the first game of the season tonight," he said, three weeks in. "I know you're probably a flyers fan, but...."

"God no, fuck that. After the year they had last year? Besides, I grew up with my bedroom plastered in Rangers posters." Ben grinned at him. "You want to go to a pub and catch the game?"

Larry felt a flush of warmth spread through him, and told himself very firmly that he was just excited about the game. "Hell yes."

 

A week after that Ben caught his sleeve as he walked into the bullpen, grinning, a flush of excitement on his cheeks. "Picked up a pair of nosebleeds for the game tomorrow night. You down?"

"Yeah?" Larry felt another rush of warmth, and firmly told himself that this was in no way a date, that he was just excited to finally have another fan in his life. "Your fiancee won't mind?"

Ben made a dismissive motion with one hand. "She's on night shift, we only really see each other for breakfast and on weekends. She's not really into the game, anyway." He perched on the edge of Larry's gloriously paperwork free desk, looking up at him. "Come keep me company."

Despite his firmest admonitions, Larry couldn't stop his stomach from doing flip-flops at the warm expectation in Ben's smile. He grinned. "I'll buy the beer."

It was easiest to catch the subway down. They changed at work, and when they met in the lobby Larry found Ben wearing a slim fitting v-neck tshirt with the Rangers logo on it under his Rangers-blue hoody. He tried not to stare at the way it pulled tight across his partners pecs, or the hint of ink on his chest that it revealed. For a moment he wondered if it was the other man's soul mark, and felt awkward and slightly invasive - most people who had them tried to keep them covered.

"That one's just at tattoo," Ben remarked, obviously catching his gaze. "I have a bunch of them."

"Yeah?" Larry suddenly found himself imagining it as they started towards the train, and forced himself to stop thinking about Ben's naked torso. "That's badass."

Ben laughed, shrugging out of his hoodie, and Larry admired the patterns of black ink that covered his arms. "Some of them aren't all that great. But they're mine, so I love them."

"They look really good," Larry assured, admiring the play of muscle under his skin.

"Thanks." Ben pulled the hoodie back on. "You have any?"

"Me? Nah. Just my mark, but - you know. Always thought I'd like more, but I was never sure what to get."

Ben gave a soft hum of acknowledgement. He was quiet for a moment, and his next words were careful. "You bonded?"

"Me?" Larry snorted before he could stop himself. "Oh god, no. Have you never known a bonded couple?"

Ben shook his head. "Not well."

"Then wait 'till you meet Leon. The boss's mate. You'll understand." He chuckled, shaking his head. "I wouldn't be here alone if I was bonded. But I'm not sure being joined at the hip is quite for me."

Ben nodded slowly. "When I was a kid I thought I might like to find my match. Just seems kind of romantic, I guess. But Amy and I don't match, and we're happy."

"Most people are," Larry agreed. "I've always been a bit jaded about it, anyway, so don't listen to me."

"Yeah?" Ben looked up at him. "How so?"

"I really shouldn't be," Larry started. "I mean, Frank and Leon are so good together, they work so well, being bonded. And my mom and her girlfriend - wife now, sorry - are really happy. But when I was thirteen and my parents split because of it I was pretty pissed off. Was so mad at my mom for deciding to pursue her bond when I thought their marriage was fine."

Ben nodded slowly, thoughtful. "Hey," he said after a moment, "if you still want a tattoo, maybe we can brainstorm sometime? I need to find a new artist in New York anyway. Promise I won't rush you into anything too big."

Larry prudently bit his tongue on inappropriate comments about size. "I'd like that."

That night his dreams made out with Ben in the stands of Madison Square Garden.

 

"I've got a twelve pack in my fridge," Larry told him, the morning of the Ranger's next away game. "Was thinking of ordering some Chinese and watching the game at home... wanna join?"

"Starts at nine, yeah?" Ben chewed on his bottom lip. "Let me hit up the market and get something to cook instead of takeout and you have yourself a deal."

Larry had almost talked himself out of asking three times, but with Ben in agreement he felt a warm rush of happiness. It was still slightly agonizing to have Ben in his space that night - close, friendly, kind, and fuck but it would be so easy to just lean over and kiss that gorgeous mouth of his. But when they were finally seated on his couch with cold beer and hot, amazing handmade pasta, he felt a sense of happy contentment come over him that calmed his frazzled nerves and left him able to just enjoy the game and Ben's company.

They ran out of beer and moved on to jack on ice, and when Ben drunkenly moved closer to lean against his shoulder Larry felt not desire, but a strange, aching adoration for his new partner. It would be okay, he found himself thinking. He could deal with hiding his desire if it meant just being able to be close to Ben. To be friendly and familiar and share nights like this.

It was the kind of interaction he hadn't really ever considered or wanted from a man - or anyone - but at the end of the night he couldn't help but think that he felt happier than he had in a very long time.

~~~~~~


	2. Chapter 2

Dinner at Larry's became a regular occurrence on game nights, more so than going out to a pub. It was cheaper, they told each other, though Larry secretly just enjoyed the time alone in Ben's company. He kept an iron tight lid on his desire - with Ben occasionally crashing on his couch he had to. He couldn't risk ruining such a beautiful feeling friendship by making Ben uncomfortable. Having Ben so open and friendly, being able to be close to him - physically close, not just emotionally - was so rewarding and felt so good that the thought of anything changing that was too much for him to bear.

By the time the NYPD hockey team tryouts rolled around their game nights had been a habit for four months. Larry knew that practice would cut into that, but he couldn't imagine Ben not being on the team. They'd gone skating a few times together, easily going through practice drills, just enjoying shooting the puck back and forth between each other. Ben seemed to be able to handle himself well, and the team had lost a few of their first string members to family life after the last season, so there was definitely room for new players. 

Part of him even considered quitting the team if Ben didn't make it, which was completely ridiculous since it had been a huge part of his decision to stay in New York with the police department and not pursue grander career goals like Quantico. He tried not to think too much about how Ben could affect him so strongly.

It was just a friendship, a partnership. Not a crush.

Tryouts were a big deal for him too, of course. He'd only been second string the previous year, and the chance to make first string was one he eagerly wanted to grasp. Hopefully he hadn't gotten too rusty during the break. But as long as Ben made the team....

Once they were on the ice together Larry found it surprisingly easy to interact with him during gameplay. Whether it was the time they'd spent practicing together or a result of both their skill, he found himself catching each of Ben's passes almost effortlessly, passing back with complete confidence in his partner's abilities. He managed three goals in their fifteen minutes of ice time despite the onslaught of the opposition's defense, and each of them was a result of Ben's skillful assists.

When the coach blew the whistle he skated to Ben's side immediately, throwing his arm around his shoulders and pulling him into a celebratory hug. "Jesus Christ, Ben. How did Philly let you go? That was amazing!"

"Me?" Ben laughed and shook his head, skating back towards the boards with me without pulling away. "You're the one that just scored three for three."

"Only because of you," he replied, grinning, regretfully letting go as they reached the rest of the players.

"That was some damn fine teamwork out there," the coach was already saying. "Team, hit the showers. Applicants, I want you all on the ice. Let's see how well you can shoot."

As much as he wanted to stay and watch Ben, the showers were going to be busy enough even without the new hopefuls in there with them, and they had the unfortunate tendency of running out of hot water. He clapped Ben on the back and gave him what he hoped was an encouraging smile. "You're doing great. This'll be a piece of cake."

"Thanks," Ben replied with a smile, skating off.

 

Ben made the team.

Whatever had happened during the mock-game at tryouts wasn't a fluke - Larry found himself playing better than he ever had before, at least with Ben on the ice. He had to make a conscious effort to interact with other players, which was hard when Ben always seemed to be in the right place at the right time. He wasn't sure if the coach had picked up on it, but they were almost always on the ice at the same time, and when the coach told the team to hit the showers he waved Larry over.

"You've kept up in the off season, Byrne. Been a hell of a showing these past couple days."

Larry felt a warm flush of pleasure rush over him. He pulled off his helmet, running his fingers through his sweaty hair. "Thanks, coach. Think I can get some more game time this season?"

"If practice continues like this. You and Carson play surprisingly well together... he's your new partner in CSU, right? You been practicing together?"

"A bit." Larry grinned. "He makes me look good, boss."

"Anything else going on I should know about?"

"Sir?" Larry tried to think of what he could mean.

His coach waved him away. "Never mind. Just keep it up, yeah? Go hit the showers."

Larry nodded, only mulling over his strange question for a moment. It was much nicer to think about how good practice had gone, how well they'd played, how enjoyable it was....

He wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped into the shower room, looking for an open shower head. Then, halfway through the room, he stopped short.

Larry felt a strange shiver burn through his nerves like an electric shock, striking every thought from his mind. For a moment he couldn't react, couldn't even understand where it had come from. Then something urged him to turn. and he found Ben staring at him, frozen, expression completely disbelieving. For what felt like an eternity he stared back at him, unable to move, unable to process what he was feeling.

Then one of Ben's hands jerked up to press to his left shoulder, and between his fingers Larry saw the same pattern of swirling, incomplete curves curl around his arm that he'd seen on his own skin a thousand times. No, not the same - mirrored.

The other half of his mark.

He took a staggered step back, angling his own mark away from Ben instinctively, and quickly looked around. No one else seemed to have noticed, the rest of the team carrying on the regular easy banter as they showered.

He forced himself to retreat to the opposite corner of the room, feeling Ben's eyes burn onto his skin as he moved, hiding under the shower head and hiding his mark towards the tiles.

Ben. His mate. Ben. His partner, straight, engaged. His mate. His friend.

He couldn't keep the stream of thoughts from his mind. Was this why he'd been so instantly attracted to him? Why they'd gotten on so well, become so easily close with one another?

He felt his stomach twist and cramp painfully. This was going to change everything between them. All the beautiful, easy closeness they'd felt. All the effort he'd put into hiding his desire was completely wasted now. Because if he'd been worried about how Ben would feel about knowing about something as simple as attraction, this had to be far worse - this sign that the universe had created them to be ideals, two halves of a whole. Soulmates.

He let out a hard huff of breath, a bitter laugh. Figured that he'd find his mate in a straight man whose heart was already spoken for.

Fucking soul marks.

He glanced across the room to find Ben already gone, and when he went back into the change room there was no sign of him. Though he tried to tell himself that he should feel relieved, discovering that his friend had left without saying a word was the worst kind of pain he could have ever imagined.

~~~

 

"I can't pursue this," Ben said softly, as they stood together in a quiet stairwell at work on Monday morning. It was the first contact Larry had had since he'd left practice the week before, since Ben had seen the mark on his shoulder and ran from him.

He could have just as easily reached out to Ben, Larry knew. But what could he have said that would change this? Instead he'd hidden himself away in his apartment for the weekend, trying to distract himself with bad TV, trying not to think about Ben and failing. Part of him had badly wanted to talk to someone, to let out the turmoil of feelings that was slowly breaking him. But who would understand? Certainly not anyone who'd never encountered their mate, and he knew very few who had. And even if he had reached out to a friend, he realized that he'd been spending almost all his time with Ben since they'd met, and reaching out now that things were going bad seemed selfish and embarrassing.

Larry took a step down, mostly to place the stairwell handrailing between them. The painted steel was cold under his hands. Grounding. "I know," he said softly. "I never expected you to."

"I'm sorry," Ben said, and Larry made the mistake of looking up to see his friend's blue eyes bright, eyebrows knit, expression fraught with pain and regret. The pain of it cut through him, and he gave a soft moan before he could stop him, lifting one hand and almost reaching for him before he caught himself and placed it firmly back down on the railing.

He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to center himself, reign in his emotions. "This must be a hell of a shock to you," he said, and heard Ben give a soft, broken laugh.

"Yeah. It seems stupid that I didn't realize what was happening. Why I felt so instantly comfortable with you. Why I wanted so badly to be close to you. I just never considered the possibility of ever finding... or that my mate might be...."

Larry opened his eyes and looked up at him calmly. "A man?"

"... yeah." Ben's expression softened slightly as he looked back at him. "But... you don't seem surprised."

"I wanted you the moment I saw you," Larry replied, because there was no point in keeping that secret hidden anymore. "You're everything..." he started, and forced himself to stop. It wouldn't make things any better. "I'm sorry."

He half expected that Ben would be angry. Instead his friend just looked sad. "I didn't know."

"Didn't want you to," Larry replied, clinging tightly to a calm he didn't feel. "It didn't matter, Ben. I... I was just happy to be close to you."

"Me too." Ben was silent for a moment, then spoke again, soft, hesitant. "Do you... do you think we still could be?"

The spark of hope in Ben's eyes stabbed deeper than the hurt had. Larry swallowed hard, forced himself to think through the idea. Was it better to torture himself with this, or to have no Ben at all? He'd been able to turn off his feelings before, telling himself not to let a stupid crush interfere with what could be a beautiful friendship. But now, knowing the truth... that the world had wrought them to complete each other, that he could have the chance at everything he'd ever wanted if only Ben's heart would follow his mark....

"I don't think so," he said, looking away. "I'm sorry."

He heard Ben let out a shuddering breath. "Wish I'd never seen it."

He gave a sharp hard laugh that caught in his throat, pained and bitter. "Yeah."

Ben echoed the laugh, sounding no less miserable. "Ridiculous thing is... Amy's been mad jealous of the time I've been spending with you. Made me so angry. She's working, it's not like I could spend the time with her anyway. I thought she was just being controlling again. Maybe she could see something I couldn't."

The mention of Ben's fianceé awoke something cold and hard inside him, a dark jealousy that he'd never wanted to feel. "It's fine, Ben," he forced himself to say. "Go to her. You love her. Marry her. The mark doesn't have to mean anything."

"Do you... think we can still work together?"

"We'll have to, won't we?" Though Larry's thoughts had already gone to Frank, to wondering if there was any alternatives. He forced himself to look up at Ben. "Just... give me some time, please. Then I'm sure things will be fine."

It was a lie, and he was sure Ben knew it. But his partner just nodded and stepped back towards the door.

Ben left work on time, with hardly a word. Larry was glad of it. He caught Frank in his office, knocking lightly on the open door, closing it behind him as Frank beckoned him in.

"Did you know, when you met Leon?" It wasn't what he'd wanted to say, but the words spilled from his lips before he could stop himself.

Frank looked surprised, then instantly concerned. He nodded to the chair beside his desk, and Larry sat.

"I didn't know," he said after a moment. "That's not uncommon, apparently. But I knew what I felt." He regarded Larry quietly for a few moments, quietly assessing, but not judgemental. "Is everything alright?

No, Larry wanted to say, but he felt certain that if he let himself get into it that he'd lose the tremulous control he had on his emotions. "I need to take a few days off."

Frank looked him over, eyebrows still knit in concern. When he finally opened his mouth again his words were soft, careful, and still cut to the core. "Does he know?"

Larry swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. "I can't talk about it."

"I need to be prepared, Larry. If I should request a transfer - "

"No. No, please, just....." He closed his eyes for a moment. "Just please give me a few days."

"You can take the week if you need it," Frank replied. "But I have one condition." He pulled open a drawer in his desk and handed across a magnet with the number for the NYPD's employee assistance hotline. "There have been many people in your place," he said, holding Larry's gaze, quiet and serious. "No one talks about how difficult it is. Some people... are unable to cope. But some people learn to help others." He nodded towards the magnet. "If you feel... overwhelmed, or.. rash. Call. Or call me, any time you need. Just promise me that you won't do anything... permanent."

Despite how deep the pain cut, the thought hadn't occurred to him. "I couldn't hurt him like that," he said, and Frank gave a sad smile, and nodded.

"All right, then. If you need more time, call me."

Of course there must be others like him, Larry thought as he left the precinct. Whose mates were unwilling - or unable - to recognize the bond. The thought wasn't exactly cheering, but it did calm his nerves a little to know that the resource was there.

He couldn't call, not now. He wasn't ready to admit to the heartbreak he was feeling. The fact that he'd been rejected by his mate. He just wanted to forget.

Larry knew from practice how to slip through the lobby of the theater like he belonged there, taking the back halls to the wings of the stage. A crowd of players were just leaving the stage from practice, and the one he was looking for spotted him immediately.

John must have seen something of his hurt, for he forewent his normal flirtatious greeting and pulled Larry straight into a hug. "What's wrong?"

He couldn't tell him. Not John, who wore his heart on his sleeve in the most literal sense - half an open book in elegant lines on his cheek, the top page marked with a delicate rosebud. The book of love, John had called it since they were kids, and every mark-matching website and database contained photos of his smiling, hopeful face and bright green eyes.

"I broke up with someone," he lied instead, pulling his friend closer. "I really need to get really, really drunk."

John gave a soft noise in sympathy, stroking his hair. "Was wondering where you'd disappeared to," he replied, and pressed a kiss to his temple. "Don't worry, Red. I'll give your broken heart everything it needs."

And John was as tender as he'd always been, and just as passionate, and held him close in bed afterwards as Larry sobbed quietly into his shoulder

~~~


	3. Chapter 3

On Monday morning, Frank caught his arm before he could go to his desk. "Your partner asked for the day off, said something about going back to Philly for the weekend. He wrapped your active cases last week. You okay to pick up the paperwork?"

Larry nodded, unsure if Ben's absence made him feel better or worse.

He'd have to do something, he realized as he worked, as he caught himself looking at Ben's empty seat for the fiftieth time. Working with Ben would be impossible, despite what he'd told him. He couldn't ask Frank to transfer him, of course. That would be far too unfair. But Larry could choose to leave.

The more he thought about it, the more he convinced himself it was the right thing to do. Sublet his apartment and just pick up and go. He had enough money saved up to take a good couple months on his own. Maybe he'd fuck his way across the gay bars of Europe. Then maybe he could stay in Dublin for a while. With his mother a citizen it would be easy enough to get a work visa. Change the scenery. Forget about New York.

Force himself to forget about Ben.

He'd been home for half an hour that night when his phone rang, the display showing the front door of his apartment building. He half expected John, who'd come and gone a few times over the past week and blessedly never asked him for details, but for some reason his heart started to beat faster. "Hello?"

"Lar. It's Ben." A pause. "Can I please come up?"

Larry hit the button before he could think about it, then hovered by the front door, heart pounding, frightened and awkward and hopeful all at once. Finally he heard a soft knock, and opened the door.

Ben was laden down with shopping bags. He hovered at the threshold for a moment. "Um. Have you eaten?"

He'd forced himself to buy a sandwich at lunch, but hadn't thought about anything since. He shook his head.

"Okay." Ben drew a slow breath, and let it out. "Can I cook for you?"

Not knowing what else to do, Larry nodded, then followed him into the kitchen. He was used to watching Ben spread out, random and sometimes unrecognizable ingredients being pulled from grocery bags and set out along his counters. Half of the kitchen supplies he owned now were because of Ben; pots and whisks and strangely shaped knives that had arrived with various meals and never left.

Usually Ben taking over his kitchen would be accompanied with easy chatter and playful conversation, with Larry being directed to do this or that, occasionally getting in the way. This time Ben worked silently, setting various pots on the stove, grating cheese and chopping ingredients with an almost single minded focus. Finally he looked up to push the last full bag across the island towards him. "Want to uncork one of those?"

Wine, thank god. Larry got down two glasses and poured them full, taking a huge gulp of his own. Ben's disappeared almost as quickly as his did, and when he refilled them Ben gave him a brief flash of a smile before taking his to the stove, starting things to cook.

The wine, at least, soothed his frayed nerves a little. Larry brought the bottle over and stood beside him, watching him work. "What are you making?"

Ben nodded towards the bubbling pot and saucepan with melting butter sitting beside it. "Gnocchi. That'll be a gorgonzola cream sauce. I'm going to toss it with steamed broccolini, bacon and walnuts. Supposed to be pancetta but I didn't have time to hit up the italian market."

"Sounds delicious." Larry worried at his bottom lip, watching Ben stir and doctor the various pots. "Ben... why are you here?"

Ben laid the whisk he was holding down in the saucepan, silent for a moment. His lips were pinched when he looked up at him, his voice soft when he spoke. "... I missed you."

"I missed you, too," Larry replied, the words wrung from his heart. "But Ben... we shouldn't be...."

"Lar." Ben's blue eyes were pleading. "Don't. Please."

"Ben, I can't stand here and pretend - "

"Don't," he said again softly, reaching out to touch his arm. The touch left him feeling almost dizzy, and as much as he knew he should pull away, he couldn't make himself do it. Ben's fingers tightened slightly on his arm, voice still soft, pleading. "Let me finish this. Then we can talk."

Talk? Larry swallowed hard, and nodded, then turned away to set the table.

They finished the first bottle of wine before the food was ready. Larry would have been happy to just start working on the second, but he forced himself to sit, to complete the simple tasks of picking up his fork, stabbing a piece of gnocchi. Lifting it to his mouth, chewing, swallowing. Repeating. Pushing the gnocchi around his plate in the hopes that it looked like he was eating more than he was.

"I'm sorry, he said finally, setting his fork down and picking up his glass instead. "It's delicious. I just can't...."

"I left Amy in Philly." The words came out of Ben's mouth in a rush, and his hand trembled as he laid his fork down.

Larry stared at him. "What?"

Ben didn't lift his eyes from his plate, and Larry watched him open his mouth, then close it again. He lifted a hand to rub his face, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "I booked a room at the Penn's View, it's where I proposed in the spring. I thought it would be a good thing to do. Take her back, reconnect. We've had so little time together since we moved here. I thought we could talk about the wedding, I thought if I just focused on her...."

Larry felt his stomach twist, trying to push the image of the two of them in bed together from his mind. "Ben, I don't - "

"I told her about us." Ben looked up at him, blue eyes anguished. "I thought if I could just tell her that I'd chosen her that things would be alright, that it would make the choice real and end what I was feeling - "

Each word stabbed deeper into his heart, and it was all Larry could do not to cover his ears. "Please, stop," he pleaded, but Ben shook his head.

"I couldn't do it," he said, voice cracking. "Lar, I couldn't. I tried, but it felt like my heart was breaking." He pulled his chair around the table to sit by him, taking one of Larry's hands between his and holding it tightly. "She was so angry. Told me I didn't deserve her, told me I had to quit the force, that we'd move back to Philly. That I had to swear to never see you - " He lifted his hand to press a trembling kiss to his knuckles, breath shuddering. "I couldn't do it. I got in the car and just drove until I got back to New York, I didn't even grab my clothes. I don't even know what I'm doing but I couldn't stand the thought of not seeing you, I - " he looked up at Larry helplessly, hands trembling around his. " _Please help me._ "

Larry slid closer before he could stop himself, pressing his free hand to Ben's, then reaching up to stroke his fingers over his cheek, up into his hair. He watched Ben draw a shuddering gasp as he leaned into his touch, and Larry made a soft, soothing sound, despite the aching turmoil in his own core, letting himself lean into his space, letting his forehead rest to Ben's. "Whatever you need," he said softly, hearing his own voice quiver. "I'll do whatever you want me to do, Ben."

Ben drew a gulping breath, letting go of his hand to mirror Larry's touch, fingers trembling on his hair. "God, Lar... the time we spent together.... I've never felt happier than when I was with you. Please tell me that doesn't have to end. Tell me we can be together...."

"We can. Of course we can. Oh god, Ben...." He felt Ben's fingers tighten in his hair, arching closer, his shivering breath tease against Larry's lips. The sensation was agony - more than anything he wanted to close the distance, to reassure Ben with soft kisses, to steal away his trembling, uncertain breath. He swallowed it down, closing his eyes. "Ben...."

"I'm so sorry I hurt you." Both of Ben's hands were on him now, cupping his face, his hair, trembling, "Forgive me. Please tell me you'll forgive me for leaving you, for putting you through all this....."

"Of course I do," Larry murmured, still trying to calm his own breathing, the frantic pound of his heart. "Of course, Ben...."

Then Ben's fingers smoothed down to cup the back of his neck, and he tilted his head slightly, pressing his lips to Larry's, soft and trembling. The knowledge that Ben was acting to fully commit - not just a close friendship, a partnership, but to fully accept their bond - shivered through him. Larry whimpered before he could stop himself, wanting nothing more than to pull him deeper, to lose himself in that beautiful mouth. But he couldn't shake the worry that Ben was just doing this for his sake, so he forced himself to pull back, cupping Ben's cheek with a shaky smile.

"Let's go sit and talk," he said, standing, offering his hand. Ben took it, watching him with wide eyes as he pulled him over to the couch. Then he sat beside him, swallowing visibly as his eyes moved over him slowly. He smoothed his fingers up the inside of Larry's right forearm, lingering at the bottom of his t-shirt sleeve. Then he looked up at Larry, hesitant. "May I... see it again?"

Larry nodded slowly, watching him. "Can I see yours?"

Ben pulled his shirt off over his head without hesitation, and Larry couldn't help but stare - broad, well-muscled shoulders, the dark lines of his tattoos that snaked over well-defined pecs, the gorgeously tempting hint of a six-pack. And of course, the mark on his shoulder, the incomplete curves of celtic knotwork far more delicate and detailed than anything else on his skin.

He forced himself to stop staring and pulled his own shirt over his head, shivering as Ben's fingers trailed up his arm to hesitantly, slowly trace the lines. "Do you know what it - what they mean?" he asked softly, and Ben looked up, giving a shake of his head.

"They're hounds," Larry started, watching Ben continue to explore his mark with his fingers. "Mum used to tell me that it was such a powerful mark... a warrior's mark. Because the greatest compliment you could give a warrior was to compare him to his dog. Strong and brave and unwaveringly loyal... the kind of companion who would always be there for you, never abandon you or reject you...."

Ben's fingers lifted from his mark, and Larry glanced up just in time to see his friend move closer, hand cupping Larry's cheek. He urged Larry closer as he brought his mouth to his again, still trembling, but firmer, yearning, sucking Larry's bottom lip between his with a low, helpless moan. It left Larry feeling almost dizzy, certainly helpless to resist, and he arched into him as he returned the kiss. He let his hand rest on Ben's chest, marveling at the warmth of his skin under his fingers, and as their shoulders pressed together he felt the same jolt of electricity shiver through him, cutting through the warm haziness of the wine. But this time it left pleasure in its wake, a warm, trembling sense of well being against his anguished nerves.

"Like sticking your finger in a wall socket," Ben murmured, and let out a shaky breath. Then he looked down towards their marks and sucked it in again. "Oh...."

Larry reached for his mark this time, pulling back and touching a spot on Ben's skin that had previously been blank. Then he moved, angling so they sat shoulder to shoulder, and the curls of knotwork finally lined up, complete. The lines of Ben's hound ran onto his arm, curling around and intertwining with his own, filling in the empty places, and the sense of well-being and completion and _right_ was so strong that Larry had to choke back a sob.

"Shh...." Ben leaned into him again, sliding his arms up around his shoulders as he kissed his mouth, soft and warm, again and again. "I'm here. Won't leave you, Lar. Couldn't bare to. Could never be complete without you..." Then he turned to press his lips to Larry's arm, soft and trembling, slowly tracing the curls of ink with his lips. It was an unspoken rule never to touch another's mark unless they were your mate, and the simple caress felt so intimate now that Larry couldn't hold back a moan, fingers tangling in Ben's hair as he shifted to give him better access. Ben echoed his pleasure, moaning softly against his skin, and moved his free hand to stroke over Larry's chest with trembling fingers, thumb rubbing against his nipple.

Larry forced himself to pull back, to press a soft kiss to Ben's lips at his whimper of dismay. He caught both Ben's hands with his own. "Ben, listen... I... I just need to be close to you. Having you here, knowing - " his breath caught in his throat, and he swallowed it down. "Your acceptance is enough for me. I know you're not into... I don't want you to force yourself...."

Ben's lips quirked into a smile, and he reached up to cup Larry's face with one hand, pressing his thumb to his lips. "The first time I saw your mark," he said softly, and stopped. "That feeling, that shock of connection... maybe it did something to me or made me realize something I'd never thought about...." He leaned in, replacing his thumb with his mouth, kissing him with more tenderness, more confidence. "You've been in my dreams every night since then," he murmured between slow kisses, stroking fingers through his hair. "Close like this.... and I feel so warm... safe, so close... so aroused... my dream self always knows we're going to go to bed together, and God, Lar, I want it so bad...."

It was hard to ignore his own desire, hearing such words from Ben's mouth. Hard not to push him back into the crook of the couch and lose himself in his kisses, to taste every inch of exposed skin, tease him until he was hard and gasping for release. He drew back to look at him, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. "Do you want that now?"

Ben swallowed and nodded slowly. "I was thinking... maybe if you grab towels and start the shower... I'll cover the gnocchi for later and then join you?"

The thought of Ben naked in the shower was even more arousing, and Larry couldn't stop himself from stealing a kiss, licking against his lips, then into his mouth at Ben's soft, needy groan.

Soon enough Ben was stepping into the shower with him, gloriously naked, pressing close to him under the spray of the shower as he reached up to kiss him again. "Never realized how sexy this could be," he murmured, hands moving hungrily over his chest and shoulders, slick and wet.

"You drive me crazy," Larry breathed, and let his hands slide down to the small of Ben's back, pulling him closer. He whimpered as Ben's hips gave a little helpless buck against his, half-hard cock pressing between his thighs, brushing against his own. "Fuck, do you have any idea how sexy you are?"

Ben gave a slow, more deliberate thrust against him, kissing away his whimpered moan of pleasure. Then he reached for the bottle of body wash, pouring an ample amount into his palm, biting his bottom lip on a smile as he stepped back to stroke the suds over Larry's chest and shoulders, then downwards, fingers teasing against his stomach and thighs. Larry grabbed some as well just to let himself touch him, to stroke his hands over those beautiful broad shoulders and strong pecs, his light whirls of ashen chest hair curling together in the water. 

Then Ben's fingers were stroking up the inside of his thigh, and he couldn't think, couldn't feel anything but the tease of his mate's touch on his balls, then curling around the base of his cock, stroking him slowly from root to tip. He gave a choked, desperate groan, and suddenly his arms were full of Ben - kissing him hard as he pushed him back against the tiles, pressing against him, gasping for breath against his lips as he claimed them again and again. Larry managed to get a hand between them to curl around his cock, amazed and even more aroused at the girth of him in his soap-slick fingers, the way it felt to stroke his fingers up his length, the needy, keening moan it pulled from Ben's lips. He could feel one of the shower knobs digging into his thigh, but he didn't care, didn't care about anything but the man pressed against him, trying to squirm closer as they kissed, fingers slick around Larry's cock as he stroked hard shocks of pleasure through him.

"Fuck, Ben - " Larry felt like he could barely think, barely focus on anything but the heat between them, the pleasure quickly building at his core. He clutched harder at Ben's back, hips rocking up into his touch with a breathless cry, sucking and nipping at his lover's lips and tongue. "Oh god, oh fuck please don't stop...."

Ben's whimper seemed just as helpless, body shuddering, moving slick against him as he thrust up into his fingers. "Won't. God, love... so fucking good.... I can't - oh fuck - !" He felt Ben's hips buck against him helplessly as he bit down at his bottom lip, jerking up into his fingers frantically, and Larry could feel his mate's orgasm rush though though him in a shudder, feel his cock pulse in his fingers as he came in hot spurts against his stomach. His fingers tightened slightly around Larry's shaft, and Larry let his own desire take full reign, fucking up into his grasp as his own passion crested. It was hot and slick and messy and perfect, and he couldn't hold back his cry of pleasure as he pressed breathless, trembling kisses to Ben's mouth again and again.

Ben let go of his cock to wrap his arms up around his neck, molding himself against Larry's body and nuzzling his face into his hair. "Oh my god...."

Larry swallowed hard, trying to catch his breath, pulse pounding in his ears. ".... sorry, didn't quite get to bed...."

Ben chuckled breathlessly into his hair, and stretched against him languidly, and if Larry hadn't just came he was certain that the firm strength of Ben's body shifting against his would have made him instantly hard. He pressed a kiss to the corner of Larry's jaw, soft and warm. "Have plenty of time for bed," he murmured, then pulled back to look up at him. "If it's alright with you...."

"Well, it would be a pretty dick move if I forced you to go home after you abandoned your fianceé in another city for me." Larry grinned, kissing him softly to punctuate his words. "Please stay. We can live here, or look for a bigger place if you need. We'll go get your stuff whenever you want."

Ben let out a long breath, nodding. "I don't have much besides clothes, was easier to move that way. Should probably go tomorrow morning... not sure when Amy'll make it back from Philly...." his eyebrows knit together. "Fuck, that was a dick move."

Larry nuzzled his forehead, reaching up to angle the showerhead to wash soap suds off his back. "Don't think you were really thinking straight."

Ben snorted softly. "No. God, I don't think I've ever felt... _panic_ like that. God, some of the things she said.... We weren't perfect, Lar, but I always tried my best for her...."

Larry thought back to his own parents, to the handful of terrible nights listening to angry, heartbroken voices through his bedroom door before his mother left. He stroked his fingers down Ben's spine, wanting to soothe him. "I don't think it's ever an easy thing to hear," he said slowly. "But... my parents came to forgive each other in time... even my Dad says it was for the best."

Ben nodded slowly, moving a hand to stroke the back of his fingers along Larry's jaw. "Would have been far more cruel to marry her when I'm in love with you."

Despite everything that had passed between them - being intimate, recognizing their bond, feeling Ben accept it - Larry could still feel the weight behind his lover's words, and it was so overwhelming that he couldn't speak past the lump in his throat. Ben leaned up to kiss him gently, holding him close. "So lucky to have you, to have met you, Lar... so honoured to be your mate. Can't imagine anyone more perfect... promise I'll do my best to show you that every day, make up for ever letting you feel otherwise....."

"You already have," Larry managed to whisper, and the pulse of love and joy he felt along their bond was all the reply he needed.

~~~~

 

Engrossed in a PVR'd episode of Elementary, it took Frank Bumstead a moment to realize that his cell phone was buzzing in his pocket. When he caught sight of the name on the call display he felt a rush of dread and paused the TV, pressing a kiss to Leon's hair where he lay with his head on his chest. "Sorry love. Need to take this."

Leon made a little disgruntled noise but said nothing, cuddling closer as Frank clicked on the call. "Frank speaking."

"Hi boss." Despite Frank's trepidation, the voice on the other end of the phone didn't sound upset. Quite the opposite; Larry's voice practically vibrated with breathless excitement. "I, um. I'm sorry to call so late, we just thought - I, uh...."

"Ben's with you?" Frank asked mildly, smiling despite himself.

"Yeah." He heard Larry give a slightly breathless, incredulous laugh. "Um. Would it be really inconvenient if we... asked for bond-leave? I know we're already short staffed, we don't have to take all of it at once...."

"It's fine," Frank replied, smile widening. "We'll manage. If I made you come into work you'd be completely useless anyway. Trust me on that one."

"Oh. Okay. Do we come in tomorrow, or - "

"Just go to a registration office. They'll take care of notifying the department."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Larry?"

"Yeah, boss?"

"I hope I'm the first to congratulate both of you."

He heard Larry give another soft laugh, his voice thick with emotion. "Yeah. Thanks, Frank. For everything."

Frank smiled at Leon's inquisitive look as he clicked off the call. "The kids."

"I figured that much." Leon sat up enough to kiss him. "They're only a few years younger than I am, you know. They doing okay?"

"Mm. Managed to figure themselves out."

"Good," Leon purred, and cuddled closer to his soul mate.

~~~


	4. Epilogue

Ben woke up sometime in the early morning, warmer than normal, the patterns of the light through the curtains and the sounds of the city briefly unfamiliar. Then he remembered Larry's apartment, and everything that had happened leading up to that night, and felt a surge of love and well-being.

His mate.

He'd fallen asleep curled up against Larry's back but pulled away sometime in sleep. It seemed like a cruel betrayal, when all he wanted to do was be as close to his newly-recognized soulmate as possible. He curled up against Larry's back again, wrapping an arm over him and nuzzling his face into the back of Larry's neck. He felt Larry stir sleepily, cuddling back into him, and gave a soft, contented hum under his breath.

That he could have ever been afraid of this seemed completely absurd now. But he had been, fueled by both his feelings of duty to the woman he was engaged to and his fear of being inadequate. He'd never considered a man sexually. Not even Larry, not even with how beautifully close they'd become. The thought of tying Larry to him if he wasn't able to fulfil him completely seemed cruel. So he'd pulled away.

But it had been love that had drawn him back. The familiarity he'd immediately felt when he'd met Larry had quickly blossomed into a closeness he'd thought impossible. Closer than he'd ever felt with a friend, with his family, and certainly with Amy. Even the thought of spending time with Larry was enough to make him feel deliriously happy, and before discovering their matching marks he'd spent months trying to find any excuse to spend time in his presence. It was far more than a familial love or a romantic love. This was a bright, overwhelming, all-encompassing love, and when it finally came down to it - when finally faced with the reality of never having that again, never even _seeing_ him again - he couldn't bare to give up that love.

He shouldn't have been surprised when desire followed. For him, desire had always followed love.

Ben pressed a kiss to the nape of his lover's neck, remembering with a surge of arousal how good it had felt to give in and touch him, to lose himself in the pleasure of Larry's body over and over. He let his fingers spread against Larry's stomach, caressing his soft skin, and he felt Larry give a long sigh, one hand moving to stroke over Ben's.

"Awake, love?" Larry's voice was thick and husky with sleep, which did nothing to dissuade Ben's cock.

"Sorry," he murmured, only to have Larry chuckle in response.

"No apologies needed..." Larry have a low, appreciative hum. "Waking up to find my lover groping me is one hell of a turn on...."

"Well, in that case...." Ben pressed another kiss to his skin, closing his eyes and breathing deep the warm scent of him. He let his hand rub down Larry's stomach and over one narrow hip, feeling the strong, lean muscles in his thigh flex slightly in pleasure under his palm. So different from a woman but somehow no less enticing. More so, because he could feel the low, warm feedback of his mate's pleasure through their bond.

He lavished slow, open-mouthed kisses along the length of his neck and over his shoulder, feeling that feedback grow, hearing Larry's breath quicken, his sighs becoming more appreciative as Ben continued to stroke and tease his body. Then he sat up enough to nuzzle his arm, kissing the dark lines on pale skin just visible in the dim light. He felt a wave of happiness wash over him, so strong it made his heart ache, and he heard Larry draw a shivering breath, reaching back to stroke his fingers through his hair. "Ben...."

"I love you so much." The words felt good to say, even better to hear them returned as Larry turned into him and whispered them breathlessly against his lips. Then Ben lost himself to the pleasure of those lips, kissing and sucking on their lush softness, drinking in their caresses, losing himself in the warmth and taste of his lover's mouth.

Larry rocked his ass back against him, letting the hard length of Ben's erection slip between his thighs. Ben couldn't help but thrust up against him, moaning into his mouth, sliding his hand down to curl around the shaft of Larry's erection, warm and thick and gloriously hard. "God, you're so sexy...."

Larry laughed breathlessly against his mouth, free hand reaching to grope on the side table for supplies. "Me? You, love... your body, the way you kiss me...." he whimpered as Ben rocked up against him again, the shaft of his erection pressing up against the soft skin behind his balls. "Oh fuck, and your cock.... god, please fuck me. Just slick up, I'm good. Need you inside me so bad...."

Ben certainly wasn't going to argue when his own body ached for the same. It only took a few seconds to roll on the condom, squirting on too much lube, but then he was rocking up into his mate's waiting body, groaning against his mouth and reveling in the feel of Larry's body stretching around the head of his cock. "Fuck, Lar...."

Larry groaned breathlessly against his lips, pressing into the penetration, reaching back to grab Ben's hip and pull him closer. "Oh god, yes... like nothing else, Ben, fuck...."

There was no hurry to this - better to revel in it, rocking slowly deeper, then grinding his hips slowly against Larry's ass, finding just how to move to leave his lover gasping. The thought of being able to do this for the rest of his life was intoxicating - lose himself to this pleasure, this joy, this blissful union with such a beautiful, perfect mate. "I love everything about you," he murmured, giving a slightly harder thrust and feeling both pleasure and joy ripple back along the bond, and an overwhelming ache and wonder.

"God, Ben..." Larry's voice echoed the emotion, and Ben pressed closer to kiss away his words, humming low against his mouth. He wanted to reassure Larry of his feelings like he'd done countless times the night before, murmuring soft adorations into his skin as they curled together, reveling in their closeness, exploring each other's bodies. This time he just tried to feel it as strongly as possible, willing the depth of his love towards his mate, feeling Larry shudder against him, whimpering into his mouth. "God, the way you feel...."

"I know," Ben murmured, kissing him again. "I know, I know..." 

Finally he moved a hand down to curl around his lover's cock, drinking in the way it made him groan breathlessly, his hips bucking back against him, kisses growing more needy. "Oh god... harder, love, please.... god, fuck me...."

Each new sex position they tried was a new experience, learning how to move with him, how to angle just right to make Larry shudder and cry out underneath him. Finding that point was somehow just as pleasurable as the act itself, as the tight heat of Larry's body around his cock as he thrust into that bliss. It was just as pleasurable to feel the slick hardness of his lover's cock in his fingers, to feel his lover shudder with pleasure, breath ragged, cries desperate against his lips. "Oh god Ben please, god more, please, oh god - !"

"My sweet mate," Ben murmured breathlessly, moving a little faster, his own pleasure acutely bright, completion promising. But he struggled to hold back, because experiencing his lover's climax - the physical sensation, the sense of accomplishment, and the love-bliss-wonder that resonated along the bond was far more satisfying than anything he could feel alone. Ben pressed a kiss just under his ear. "My Lar... oh god, come on, sweetheart, let me feel you...."

"Oh - !" Larry's hips stuttered back against him as that longed-for release finally overwhelmed him, and Ben let himself go completely to it, reveling in the pulse of his cock in his fingers, the way that his body shuddered around him. Larry's emotions, overwhelmed, almost disbelieving in the strength of his pleasure. Ben let it pull his own pleasure to its precipice, a few more gorgeous, perfect thrusts to join him, groaning his pleasure against Larry's skin.

Larry twisted more in his arms, finding his mouth for a trembling kiss, and for a long moment that was all that mattered - trading soft kisses as they both caught their breath, reveling in the feelings of intimacy and joy. "God, you're amazing," Larry sighed finally, and Ben grinned against his lips.

"Even for a new convert?"

Larry chuckled, nuzzling his jaw. "Sometimes it's better to be conscientious than experienced. Since you seem to be okay with boy cooties."

Ben laughed, kissing him longer. "Boy cooties are nice. But only if they're yours. No one else's cooties."

Larry gave a low, pleased moan against his lips. "So glad we don't have to work today." Then he pulled away with a sigh, glancing over at the clock. "But since we're up... should probably go get your stuff.... coffee should be done brewing in the kitchen by now."

"Mmm. Yeah. Sorry."

Larry smiled, shaking his head. "You're here, love. There's nothing to apologize for."

Thankfully the trip back home was uneventful. There was no sign that Amy had returned from Philly, and he'd already downsized when they'd moved to New York, so it didn't take long to stuff his clothes and toiletries into a few hockey bags. His work gear was more important, along with a few boxes of kitchen accoutrements - the food processor and his chef's knives were expensive, dammit - and they managed to get everything into the back of his hatchback without much trouble.

Then he wrote a short note to Amy saying that he'd send money for next month's rent, slid his keys under the door, and joined Larry at the elevator.

His mate's hand was warm on his back, comforting. "You okay?"

Ben took stock, then nodded slowly. "I'm less angry than I was yesterday. I wish things hadn't had to end this way. But..." he reached up to cup Larry's cheek, giving a reassuring smile at his worried look. "I don't regret anything, Lar. How could I choose anything over you?"

He could feel the way his words overwhelmed Larry, and he drew him into a soft kiss, stroking fingers into his hair. "Let's go register, all right? Then we can go home and cuddle."

Larry swallowed hard, and nodded. "I'd like that."

Registration was a surprisingly simple - some forms, a visual inspection of their marks by a Justice of the Peace. Then, as she shook Ben's hand, something sharp stabbed into his palm. As he recoiled in surprise he realized that Larry had too, and the Justice of the Peace smiled. "Congratulations, gentlemen, your bond is officially registered legitimate. We'll report your bond leave to your workplaces. Enjoy it."

"Just one workplace," Ben corrected, and her smile widened.

"Lucky employer, then."

It was hard not to touch Larry as they made their way home and unloaded the car, and when they finally had everything inside Ben pulled him close in the front entry, sliding his arms around his waist and claiming his mouth. Larry gave a soft, relieved sigh, arching closer, and a long moment Ben just reveled in the feel of him, the warmth and strength of his body, the thrumming feedback of love.

Then Larry pulled away, pulling his phone out of his pocket, giving the screen a glance of annoyance. "Hello?"

Ben watched his lover look immediately anxious as he listened to whoever was on the other end of the phone. "Oh shit," he muttered softly. "No, no, I - I'm fine, I just - um, can I call you in like two minutes? Just - just wait outside, I - two minutes."

Then he clicked off, staring at Ben helplessly, opening his mouth to speak, then closing it again. "I, um... I don't know how to say this....."

"Did you have plans?" Ben prompted softly, wanting nothing to reassure him.

"No - no, nothing official anyway, it's just - John's been kind of keeping me sane this past week when we were... um, apart. I guess he tried to call the office and then worried and came here when they said I wasn't in with like... baking."

"John?"

"A friend," Larry replied, and Ben felt another wave of anxious distress from him. "My best friend from childhood. He's only ever been a friend, Ben, I swear. But we've... fucked. A lot. I'm sorry."

Larry's distress was too much; Ben stepped into him, reaching up to cup his face gently. "Should I be worried?"

"No. Oh god, no. Ben, I'm completely yours. If you want me to send him away - "

"No." Ben leaned up to kiss him, trying to reassure him wordlessly. "He's important to you. Can I meet him?"

Larry let out a long breath and nodded. "Yeah, I - I'd really like that. Um - I think I should probably go get him and, um... tell him before...."

"Sure." Ben kissed him again, stroking his cheek. "I'll make coffee. Don't worry, okay?"

"Okay." Larry gave him a smile that still felt nervous and left.

Ben, however, couldn't help but feel nervous himself, starting a fresh pot of coffee and fidgeting around in the kitchen, tidying and putting things away. He certainly deserved to be judged poorly, with how he'd reacted to the discovery of their marks. With what he'd put Larry through over the past week. He could only hope that Larry's friend would forgive his brief weakness in light of his full commitment. When he finally heard the door open he felt his stomach flip, and made his way back to the front entry nervously.

Larry seemed as nervous as he felt. "John, this is Ben. My soulmate. Ben, this is my friend John."

"Pleased to meet you," Ben said, stepping forward and offering a hand.

He was very pretty, Ben couldn't help but notice, fine featured with dark hair and eyes that glinted an unusual green in the light from the kitchen. He reached past Larry to take his offered hand, looking him up and down with an appreciative smirk. "Hello, Ben. Don't suppose you have any brothers, do you?"

"No," Ben lied, and automatically wondered why he had.

"Pity," he replied, and grinned, stepping out of his shoes. "Figures you'd be a stud. Listen... I probably don't have to tell you at this point, but Lar is like... The best. Like, the golden ticket of soulmates. You've basically won the lottery."

Last ducked his head, visibly reddening. "Aw, John...."

"No, I'm serious! I'm also stoked that this is the only one of your boyfriends I won't have to threaten with certain death if he breaks your heart." John stepped closer to Ben, his gaze suddenly serious. "Right?"

But as he'd turned to look at Larry, Ben realized that what he'd thought were a few stray locks of John's dark, curly hair on his cheek was actually the black lines of his mark - half of an open book, its pages ruffling slightly in the breeze, a rosebud on the top page.

Then he realized that John was still waiting for an answer, one eyebrow raised. "Oh - god - yes, of course. I'm sorry, I just - your mark - I've never seen - "

John grinned, touching his cheek affectionately. "Never seen one on someone's face? Yeah, don't worry, I get that a lot." He looked over to Larry. "Should we have coffee? Then I'll take off and leave you two lovebirds to honeymoon, don't worry."

"I just put a pot on," Ben said immediately, turning for the kitchen, glad of something to do.

He couldn't remember half of what they talked about or what the croissants John had brought tasted like, caught between excitement and dread. The more he looked at John's mark the more certain he was that it had to be a match - while Daniel kept his mark hidden almost completely with scarves and mandarin collared shirts, Ben had seen it many times around the house, and the size, the weight of the lines, the way the pages ruffled.....

Finally John made his excuses and left. Larry stepped into him immediately, pulling him close and pressing his face to his hair. Ben hadn't realized how touchy he'd felt being away from him; now a warm rush of connection washed over him, sweet and reassuring.

"You okay?" He asked softly. "John liked you. But you seem... you feel strange. Overwhelmed...."

"Yeah." Ben nodded, pressing a kiss to his hair. "I'm okay. He seems really nice."

"Overwhelming but nice?" Larry suggested, nuzzling his jaw.

"It's not that..." Ben pulled back to look at him, still not quite sure to articulate the mess of thoughts in his head. "Lar... I lied."

Larry's eyebrows quirked questioningly. "About being okay?"

"No, oh god no. I lied about having a brother. I don't know why, I think he caught me off my guard. I have a younger brother, Daniel. Just finished his PHD, he's a genius. Like, literally, was taking college classes at age 15 genius."

Larry smiled as he listened to him. "He sounds wonderful. Can I meet him sometime?"

"Of course, but that's not what I - Lar, he has a book on his neck."

Instant understanding entered his eyes. Larry's eyebrows raised. "His neck. That's pretty unusual placement."

"Like having your mark on your face?"

"Exactly."

Larry nodded slowly. "And it has a rose on it?"

"No, just writing. Unintelligible writing. But the rest of it.... Lar, I'm almost sure it's a match. What do I do?"

Larry worried his bottom lip, thinking. "John has his mark registered in literally every database. So... I'm assuming your brother hasn't been looking. Maybe... maybe it's better not to tell him."

"But how can I not? Now that I know what it's like...." Ben reached up to cup his face, stroking his fingers into his hair. "How can I not want this for anyone? Let alone my brother...."

Larry pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. "We don't have to decide now. Let's go cuddle, all right? We'll think on it together."

Ben nodded, following him back to the bedroom. It was certainly a lot nice to lose himself in the pleasure of being in his lover's arms than to worry about whether or not Daniel would appreciate being told that he'd potentially found his mate.

~~~


End file.
